Category Archives: Silly Stuff

Farm boy

Since his family lives on a farm, his mother asks if he has done his chores.” Not yet,” said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he’s a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.

He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow.

He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.

“How come I don’t get any eggs and bacon? Why don’t I have any milk in my cereal?” he asks.

“Well,” his mother says, “I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren’t getting any milk.”

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.

The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says Are you going to tell him, or should I?”

**From Ms. Jackie

Funny Fwd.

**From Ms. Jackie

Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.”

She sleepily replied, “Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that shit.”

TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!!!!

It’s time to play the game…
TIME TO PLAY THE GAME! hahaha

It’s all about the game and how you play it.
All about control and if you can take it.
All about your debt and if you can pay it.
It’s all about pain and who’s gonna make it.

I am the game, you don’t wanna play me.
I am control, no way you can change me.
I am heavy debt, no way you can pay me.
I am the pain and I know you can’t take me.

Look over your shoulder, ready to run.
Like a poison pitch from a smokin gun.
I am the game and I make the rules.
So move on out here and die like a fool.
Try to figure out what my moods gonna be.
Come on over sucker, why don’t you ask me?
Don’t you forget that the price you can pay
Cause I am the game and I want to play….

It’s time to play the game……..hahaha
TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!

It’s all about the game and how you play it.
It’s all about control and if you can take it.
It’s all about your debt and if you can pay it.
It’s all about pain and who’s gonna make it.

I am the game, you don’t wanna play me.
I am control, there’s no way you can change me.
I am your debt, and you know you can’t pay me.
I am your pain and I know you can’t take me.

Play the game
Your gonna be the same
Your gonna change your name
Your gonna die in flames

hahaha

TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!
It’s time to play the game…
It’s time to play the game…
It’s time to play the game…
TIME TO PLAY THE GAME! Hahaha

Performed by Motorhead

Sex in the Dark

Forward from Jackie =)

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device… a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic. “You impotent bastard,” She screamed at him, “how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!”

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: “I’ll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids.”

Funny Fwd.

I got this from mom…………..lol

20 Ways to Maintain Sanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit in Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It “In.”
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write “For Smuggling Diamonds”
7. Finish All Your sentences with “In Accordance With The Prophecy.”
8. Don t use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is “To Go.”
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don’t Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party Because You’re Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, ‘Rock Bottom’.
17. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream “I Won!, I Won!”
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling “Run For Your Lives, They’re Loose!!”
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. “Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.”
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity……. Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.

It’s Called Therapy.