Category Archives: Silly Stuff

One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized >what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up

As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred – Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries – Most never happen anyway.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less

NOW ——–

Enough of that crap . . .

The donkey later came back and bit the shit out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY’S LESSON:
When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you

**Jackie forwarded this to me……..grin

Two friends were just about to tee off on the first hole at their local golf course when another man, carrying a golf bag called out to them, “Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn’t show up.”

“Sure,” they said, “You’re more than welcome.”

Part way through the course, one of the friends turned to the newcomer and said, “What do you do for a living?”

“I’m a hit man,” was his reply.

“You’re joking!” was their response.

“No, I’m not,” he said, reaching into his golf bag, he pulled out a beautiful Martini sniper’s rifle with a large telescopic sight.

“That’s a beautiful telescopic sight,” said the other friend, “Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.” …WOW I can see right in the window.” ” I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she’s naked!! Wait a minute, that’s my neighbor in there with her. He’s naked, too!!! The bitch!” He turned to the hit man, “How much do you charge for a hit?”

“I’ll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.”

“Can you do two for me now?”

“Sure, what do you want?”

“First, shoot my wife, she’s always been mouthy,…… so shoot her in the mouth.”

“Then my neighbor, he’s still a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson.”

The hit man grabbed the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

“Are you going to do it or not?” said the friend impatiently.

“Just be patient,” said the hit man calmly,……..

“I think I can save you a grand.”

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, “Good morning Ma’am. What are you doing?”

“Reading a book,” she replies, (thinking, “Isn’t that obvious?”)

“You’re in a restricted fishing area,” he informs her.

“I’m sorry officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading.”

“Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”

“If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,” says the woman.

“But I haven’t even touched you,” says the game warden.

“That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.”

“Have a nice day ma’am,” and he left.

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