Category Archives: Reflections

Thought of The Day

“During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity been on trial. What have been its fruits? More or less in all places, pride and indolence in the Clergy, ignorance and servility in the laity, in both, superstition, bigotry and persecution. . . .

Torrents of blood have been spilt in the old world, by vain attempts of the secular arm, to extinguish Religious discord, by proscribing all difference in Religious opinion.”
— James Madison, “Memorial and Remonstrance,” 1785

Touching Base

I really need to start posting here more. I just don’t know to post about anymore. I can always do politics, but I tweet so much about that I don’t know if I really should. I work at home and other then errands and the gym, my face to face interactions with people that I use to comment on is limited.

Totally love that we finally got Osama Bin Laden….but even with that, overall it hasn’t been the best of weeks. Maybe crappy people like Cheney will quit lying about Obama not caring about national security and putting this country in danger.  It help to put that racist birther crap down.  So sad it took that and he showed his birth certificate….total crap.

Monday was a total Monday in the worst way.  And today was blah.  Put on Despicable Me for some much needed laughter  We did have one day that was totally dry and sunny and hit 70!!  Even if that was at 6pm, it was nice.

We finally got our tomato plants this week.  Went for 5 instead of the 3 we did last year.  It looks like some will mature mid summer and the a couple in late summer, my beefsteak ones.  So looking forward to those.  =)

After having a few rough winter months at the gym where we only went 4 days a week, we’ve been going 5 days for about 2 months.  BUT they haven’t been full days.  Mostly cardio.  I really need to get back to my abs and weights.  Getting some of my tummy back, doesn’t help that I’m eating a bit too much of things I shouldn’t be.  So both my eating habits and not doing the full workouts is not helping.  Need to get back on track next week.  Especially the workout part.

I have finally gotten back into  making time for reading, other then my news/political surfing addiction.  Both for magazines I can’t finish at the gym and books.  I’ve added a couple of new mag subscriptions, so now I have Time, Ms, Bitch, Progressive, Washington Monthly, American Prospect and also trying out Nutrition Action for better eating habits.  Don’t expect to totally change too much on eating, just want to be more educated about it.

On books, hubby got me Lyndon Johnson by Doris Kearns Goodwin (he was so complex) and John Paul Stevens by Bill Barnhart and Gene Schilickman (love Supreme Court stuff…lol) for the holidays, I got those read. I finally read One Soldier’s Story by Bob Dole (brought that when it came out…really liked that), Audition by Barbra Walters (learned a lot about what women went through by 1st person), True Compass by Edward M Kennedy (very interesting read), and during all that, finally finished the big one, My Life by Bill Clinton…which was good, but loaded with so much detail….wow.  Currently working on American Gospel by Jon Meacham, about “religion, the Founding Fathers and the Making of a Nation”.  How they counted on religion being in the public sphere without it being in government so not lead to the tyranny like it did Europe.

I did finally get off of my butt and took a photography composition class, wow….so much to learn.  They use so many terms for what is used on a SLR camera.  Going to have to take the class on how to learn to fully use our nikon ds70.  I actually planned on taking that class this semester, but with my luck the ONE day I actually made plans for it, we had other plans….ggeezz..  Normally we don’t do a thing…lol  Going to see about making time to go through the book we brought years ago on the camera and try to apply it. What I really want and need is better weather so I can take it out.  I have cats to take pics of, but they aren’t the most cooperative when you are learning the equipment…..lol  And that is what the stressed in class, know your equipment, know your equipment….so I really need to learn all the little things.  I have my point and shot olympus, but learning the nikon will help me with that also.

Well the day that I was going to take that class on learning the nikon, we went up to our friend’s in Seattle for a Zombie Jesus Party…..lol  I love satire.  I made deviled carbury eggs and very fudgy brownies….I must admit, I LOVE my brownies….grin…hubby made his addicting chili.  We had a great time, but I do have to admit we are old and cranky in that instead of staying overnight there, we came home that night….3hr drive back.  We just love being in our own beds and miss our cats too much.  As we have gotten older, we miss our cats even more….much harder to stay overnight without them.

I did have an issue that came up on my fb that disturbed me in their twisted logic.  Just because I’m an american feminist doesn’t mean that I’m going to hate on Islam.  One of friends on fb was from HS….and I had posted the quote from POTUS’ speech “Our war is not against Islam. Bin Laden was not a Muslim leader – indeed he was a mass murderer of Muslims.”  And what she posted on it, I can’t describe as nothing but hateful and bigoted. And I simply told her that I found it to be that and not post it on my fb, those may be her beliefs but do not post hate on my wall/posts.

And she part of her reply : “I find it difficult to believe that any feminist would ever deem to support a religion that will put women to death for the crime of their own rapes”  I’m like, I don’t support that, hell I do not support any religion.  EVERY religion has been used to justify rape, beating, abuse and slavery….they all suck on that and that is why I don’t like them.  They never follow their positive and good lessons of their religions, but their books are written by men and totally screwed up due to that.

Just because of my dislike of religion and the majority of their leaders, doesn’t mean I’m going to hate on them as a people.  That is no better then what Hilter did the Jews…..and I told her that, she didn’t like that and did one long post accusing me of attacking her beliefs.  I’m just too old for dealing with that…..it is my fb, which has far as I’m concern is my house and I won’t tolerate what I find is hatred and bigotry towards one type of people….so I unfriended her, I don’t need the drama.  I’m sad in that she has so much hatred built up in her.  And I’m not the most positive person in comments about society.

I can’t say that I’ve ever really known any Muslims, I’ve maybe encountered a few in my years of work but my husband served with some and we all know that every religion and race has both good and bad in it.  I did ask one woman about how do you keep the head wraps on and she seemed very happy to share her culture with me.  But I’m not going to judge a whole group of people based on bad ones, most things are cultural…not religious when it comes to things that are done in the name of Islam.  And I go on about the crimes and stuff of Christianity all the time.  But I also know that there are a lot of good people that actually try practice the teachings of Christ, which are good and get lost.  So individually I have no issue with people having their different faiths when it is not twisted to hurt, abuse or mistreat people or forced on me.  But I do have a MAJOR issue with all the evil and bigotry done in the name of religion.

Now hubby will say I’m dwelling on it, maybe I am….but not in the way that I’m upset in the standard sense of the word.  More like it makes me examine things and want to break it down about human nature and myself.  I think if I’m upset about anything it is that horrible generalization she made about being a feminist….like there aren’t Muslim feminists.  It was insulting to me to think that being a feminist meant that I should hate on them…wtf?  I guess I will never get that way of thinking…..maybe happier not to.

If you hadn’t seen, I became a great aunt in Jan.  =)  Very cool……the closest I will ever to being a grandma and that is as close as I want…grin  I will say that I’m not too please about some of the decisions my niece has been making.  Believe she is making them for all the wrong reasons and doesn’t want to work for anything.  Wants everything now and expects it to be easy.  Her sperm donor father coming out in that.  =(  But it is her life to screw up, just worried about my great niece.

Wow after not posting in awhile, this is a long one.  Maybe I’ll do more of it, probably more social commentary.  =)

Caring About Human Issues

As you may have noticed, I do more tweeting then blogging now.  Much quicker on getting out my thoughts.  Yesterday I tweeted this link : The FBI’s Restrictive Definition Of Rape and stated that this needs to be changed.

I received a comment back asking “have you something to talk about you are pretty hardcore on abuse of woman?” I responded back “Nope, just a feminist and every single of one of my close friends have suffered abuse.”  The more I think about it, the more insulting and sexist their question was.

Why do I need to have “something” to talk about to address the issue about the abuse of women? If they actually read the article, it addresses the fact that rape of men are so, so poorly under reported and not even included.  These are issues that effect MEN and WOMEN, not just women.  It is a cycle that we must always work to break.

But then, their comment really had nothing to do with the article, since they didn’t read it, they really don’t see that comments/links I make are not just about women, they are about SOCIETY as a whole.  Why do so many think that women issues are not HUMAN issues, that it does not effect them?

Why can I not talk about it for the simple fact that I am a human and I care about the human condition and ridding the world of violence?  Why must I have story to give a damn?  I actually have had a very good life, especially compared to my friends.  But just because I had a good life doesn’t mean I shouldn’t care about others.  Doesn’t mean that I don’t want others to have what I had, every one deserves to have a good life.

My question to them should’ve been, why don’t you care about these issues? If more people cared and was aware the issues, the violence will go down as we develop programs to address it.

Education and awareness is always the key to changing things.  Which is why slaves where not allowed to learn how to read, it was illegal, why women weren’t allowed to be educated.  An educated person is someone to be reckoned with, you can not just use them, fool them and abuse them.

They also made this comment “They should report any abuse to the authorities or their brothers .I have 0.0 respect for men who abuse woman.”

Ok….good on the zero respect for the abusers and for people who have no actual experience dealing with DV situations….a common comment. Sexist on the brother comment, why must a female always need to get a family man’s protection?  Goes back to the history that women are nothing but property and chattel (which the GOP loves to treat us as).

But it really shows that they do not have any idea what an abuse victim goes through.  All the complex issues that they face, child care, job safety, having a job, lack of family support, the fact that they are re-victimized by the system and it fails them on a continuous basis.  Whether is from failure to enforcing a protective order, to not giving them, to abusers not giving a fig about a piece of paper, to blaming it on the victim.

After volunteering at a women’s shelter for many years, that simple statement that they made, doesn’t work.

More women, men and children are raped or killed by someone they know, not by the hyped up “strange danger”

How are these issues are just about women, when they effect all of us?  And why don’t you care about them?


Family Holidays

Not doing much today.  I did go to the gym, got a very good workout in inspite of the treadmills.  My favorite was taken….rats  Got to see the gym trainers bring a guy back after he left while leaving #125 dumbbells on the floor for people to trip over them.  How lazy?!?  But they told him to put them away…grin  I totally enjoyed that.

The roads were a ghost town on the way to the gym, on the way home…..totally different.  Hubby over did it this week, developed a muscle cramp in his hamstring.  Hope to get back at it Mon.  We need to head down town PDX next week for the court house for a dry run to deal with traffic and learning a new area for his jury duty.  That is so going to be fun….NOT……

We tried going to the store…..parking lot said no way….came home.  We’ll go Mon/Tues.

Totally looking forward to tomorrow.  Got a bunch of little things for hubby, can’t wait for him to open them.  Nothing much, but love putting a smile on his face.  Sent a gift to Sandi, I’ve been avoiding calling her because I can’t trust myself to give it away……lol  I’m horrible.

When I can actually think of gifts to give, that is my favorite thing….but I swear I’m more excited then receiver when they open it…….lol

I love this time of the year and I’m so not religious.  I hate to break it to you religious folks, but a lot of these traditions started long before your religion.  Christ had good lessons that people do not follow and are hypocrites of.  Historically, he is interesting…..

But the traditions that we practice are from winter solstice and pagan traditions…. a lot of them from Germany…the tree being one example of it.  Which is why I love this time of year…..reminds me of my childhood there.  I may have left there when I was 7….but it left a lot of happy impressions on me.

We were broke, so it wasn’t loaded with a ton of gifts, but we always had a special time with family.  That is what always counted.  We would go for drives to see all the lights that the Germans put up, Mom would read the Xmas story from the bible just before bed, Melinda and I would be totally too excited…..wake up by 4 am, sneak out and see all the presents, feel our stockings and wonder how much change and candy were in there.  Then try and keep ourselves from waking mom and dad up…..we never got past 5-6am…..lol….poor mom and dad.

It was one day of the year we didn’t fight….lol…. Played with our things and crash together on one of our beds.  By the time I hit school age, I was odd….I loved getting new clothes, almost more then the toys.  Something new to wear to school.

Mom and dad always made it special because when you have a b-day around xmas, it sucks…..people give you only 1 present for both your bday and xmas, if they remember at all.  You almost never have parties due to the holidays.  I got one when I was about 4/5 at daycare….that is where I was given my german nutcracker that I still have to this day.  It has had it arms glued back on over the years, but I still have it.   =)

I usually recommend people, don’t have kids around the holiday…it usually bites.  But I was lucky when it came to my folks.  =)

They’d tell me how they had to take mom to the hospital Xmas eve, they sent her home saying it was false labor, then the next day they had to go back and dad ran out of gas following the ambulance on the autobahn….LOL  Poor mom, didn’t have me until the day after and burnt the cornish hens she had put into the oven the 1st time she went to the hospital.  When I moved to Purdue, my folks called me at midnight to wish me happy bday….lol

When it comes to the holidays, even with the grumblings and the stress arguments that broke out leading the weeks before, my folks loved the holidays almost more then us kids.  They are sounding a little lost this Xmas eve since the grandkids are at their mom’s and not home with them.  They haven’t been by themselves since ’72…the year before I was born….lol  Just got a text from mom, sounds like dad got called into work…..at least it is double time, all the gifts for the kids are already wrapped….so it is little different this year.

I just really felt like sharing my holiday feelings, not sure why else I wrote it……lol

Hope everyone has a great Holiday!

Losing Alexis Post

I know I tweeted about Alexis, but when I look back at my entries, I’ve written for each of our babies on the day we lost them.  So I feel as if I cheated her if I don’t write something. This one is a week late, but I was really trying to get through it last week.

On the 4th hubby gave Alexis her meds and felt a a very hard lump under her chin.  We made an appt and took her into the vet on the 7th, a Sat.  It was one of either 2 things….an infected tooth (with her history a good possiblity) or a tumor.  The vet said he never felt an infected tooth that hard, but it still could be.  Said we can do an antibiotic and if it is an infected tooth the swelling would go down and then we can have it removed. If a tumor, there was no way we would put her through that.  It would not improve her quality or quantity of life.

We tried that, but it quickly became clear that it wasn’t working.  =(  She started to issues with drooling and the whites that cover her eyes when sleeping weren’t moving back in place when she opened them from sleeping.  Hubby tried to put a bowl of small pieces of food to the side for her to eat, but she would refuse to eat.  She stubbornly would eat the big pieces and, of course, we knew she won’t eat soft food….tried that many times.  The swelling never went down.  =(

Hubby called the vet Tues and gave him an update….and made the appt for Sat the 14th….I totally lost it when he told me.

We got Alexis in Dec of ’94 when hubby gave her to me when I came home from failing my German final.  She was officially a holiday present for me, but actually she was a present for his cat Randi….lol  Randi was lonely, she was in town, so not allowed out for hunting, no dogs to pick on, and my cat Aurora would have nothing to do with her….lol  She was the 1st cat that we got while together.  She was the last connection to Randi, Aurora and Reggie.

She has gone through hell with medical issues the last few years.  She always had an issue with puking up her food over the years, but since the other cats tossed something (usually furballs) we just thought it was her.  She was a chunky cat, about 11pounds….so not small at all.  When I went to IN to visit family in Dec ’08, hubby had to take her in when she meowed in a very scary way at him.  She had an urinary tract infection that could’ve killed her, in tests for that they discovered that she had a hyperthyroid.

Which answered the question of her weight lost over the last year and why for the 1st time in her life she would meow at for things in the kitchen.  This is a cat that didn’t like milk, would maybe lick tuna juice, won’t eat any human food and refuse soft food….would only really eat meow mix.

What the vet told us, the hyperthyroid is like an engine running at full throttle and the gas not keeping up.  So even if she didn’t like, she would actually try the meat we offered her.  If we didn’t get her on meds or get her treated, she would be dead very quickly at that point.

Here is the link to that post : Kitty Update & Life : http://www.paulineantoinette.com/2009/01/03/kitty-update-life/

Then we discovered that half of her teeth were rotten and needed replacing in June ’09 : http://www.paulineantoinette.com/2009/06/12/alexis-the-rest/

Ever since she had to deal with us giving her meds to keep her regular.  During all of this, she has stubbornly carried on.  Barely complaining, which made it is easier for us to miss things.  =(  But I really miss her quiet determination and her demand for my attention.

The Sunday after we took her to the vet to ask about the lump, she was stubbornly trying to open the sliding closet door (which she had, unfortunately, taught the wonder twins how to open….lol) with what remained of her teeth. Hubby thinks she was the most stubborn of all of our cats.  =)

I picked up her ashes and feel much better that she is backed home.  She is up on the bookshelf with our other 3 and their pictures.

Love and miss you Alexis.  I hope that you knew how much we loved you.

Alexis Memorial