Society over the generations has taught women to judge other women even more harshly then men, taught us to tear each other down to make ourselves feel better, and to compete for a men’s attention. It is still like that, but I do not know if it my years or society, as a whole is changing, but I do not see that as much in my personal life.
Oh it is definitely still there in public, but it is getting called to the carpet…ie, the playboy bunny posting that picture with a catty comments of the other woman in the gym locker room. The backlash towards that has probably cost her the career she was trying to have in modeling.
The things I have noticed is no matter how society tries to make us women turn on each other, when it comes to locker rooms, bathrooms, spas and even nail saloons, we can be pretty nonjudgmental and supportive when the chips are down.
I have gotten into the most interesting and intimate conversations in those settings.
I have seen the beauty of what a woman’s body goes through over her life time at spas. The woman who survived breast cancer, the bringing forth life, surviving of domestic violence, and the surviving the unrealistic standards of beauty that men and society push on us.
I have had Vietnamese women ask me about my breast (3 different saloons, in different states), since I am so well endowed. They even asked to feel them, since they have never seen ones so large that are natural.
A friend and I, while waiting in a bathroom line at a club, got into a conversation with the other women in line about breasts, natural and augment. My friend had augment and mine the natural. We just started talking, showing and feeling the differences in our breasts. It was a conversation of learning, curiosity and exploring. What made it even more memorable, that one of the women that showed her breasts along with us, was at the teacher at the parent-teacher conference at my friend’s kids catholic school the next day….LOL
That was just classic, but also showed what a sisterhood us women can have, no matter what.
Even when it is not your conversation, you find yourself jumping in to support and help a fellow sister out. I have had conversations about domestic violence, breast reductions, social pressure on unrealistic beauty standards or just giving a hug to someone that is crying.
As women, we have all been there, or know a loved one that has. We have all experienced the threat of violence, whether directly or implied, we have all experienced the horror of street harassment that makes you feel small, hopeless and in danager. We have all been made to feel stupid by men and society for being women, we are treated like children, like we can not be trusted to make our own decisions about our own health and bodies, we have all suffered heart ache due to our partners, we are made to feel unattractive and when we do not, we are shamed for it. All of women has either experience sexual violence or know someone close to us that has. We are pushed into the madonna/whore dichotomy.
It is some of those common experiences that we as women goes through that helps keeps us more united then we are divided, no matter what society tries to do to us.
With other women, we do not have much of filter with each other, when it comes to the issues that we face as women. Even in very brief, 2 sentence conversations in passing at work, we women can reveal and share a lot. We understand what the other one is going through. There is not much that we consider TMI (too much info).
I know I have never been shy about my experiences with other women. I was raised in household with women that shared everything.
The more I think about it, the more special and meaningful it is. Makes me wonder if men ever have that connection to each other that we as women have? Do we have that connection due to being women or because of where we are placed in society and the issues we face?
It is a connection that we as women should never take for granted and should always encourage and support it.
