Category Archives: Everyday Stuff

It has been a very stressful week.

When I just think about it, it totally stresses me out.

I have one set of managers telling me one thing and another telling me something else. And I really do NOT want to be under one ASM.  Do not trust them.

I think that part of it is that over the last few years that I’ve seen the demands that have been added to the department managers without any tools to help.  And I feel as that I’m being set up to fail.

If we could have afford it, I would have just stepped down to a CSA….less crap to deal with.

Then when I ask how am I going to learn my new position when they keep coming to me for my old one?  I was told to “walk away’.  How the hell do I walk away from something that I’ve been responsible for 5yrs now?  When I actually take ownership and give a damn?

Now that is just work.

ToRn hurt his back/side muscle. There was a huge pop the Tuesday night and we thought his rib was broken.

He went to urgent care Wed…..no broken rib, may have torn the muscle.  He is fine until he sneezes, coughs, blows his nose or anything that.  It puts him into extreme pain.

End up with 3 days off from work and then his weekend off.  Back to work, carefully Monday.

He is taking it better then me…..lol

I still can’t do any jogging on my walks….shins hurt….it is annoying as hell….feels like I’m not getting much exercise in at all.  I even took last week off, well the 2 days I was going to do my walk before work.  I’ve been too stressed and needed to get some sleep.  

Actually, the more I think about it, the more it has to do with the fact that I do not have a gym and it stresses me out.  I need the gym for what works for me.

Oh yeah sleep….what the hell is that?  I’m have hot flashes left and right and they suck!  One minute I’m chilled, the next I’m so hot I’m about to have a panic attack.  I have my annual doctor’s exam at the end of May, so I’ll ask her about it.

Online it states that stress makes it worst…..oh yeah, like getting rid of that is going to happen. And losing weight it helps….maybe if I had a f’ing gym!

Doesn’t help that the loss of our baby girl Sakura hits me out of the blue.  It seemed to happen so fast, so out of no where.  I’m second guessing everything we did, even though it was the right thing.  I feel so guilty as if I had let her down.  

I just really miss her furry face, the way she was so possessive and demanding of ToRn.

It has always been rough as hell when we lost one of our babies, but hers is really hurting more.

This weekend, I’m just trying to chill out and fight the urge to hide and fight this depression that wants to take over.

We got our 1st covid shot yesterday. Other than a sore arm from shot, no issues.
A small stress has been relieved. Once we get the 2nd shot….that would be very nice

One other good thing, the current word press blog update sends out a notice which plugin is creating the issue, and crashing the site, so you aren’t wandering around trying to delete things hoping that it is the issue. And it gives you a link do to it in recovery mode.

So after almost 2yrs years it is back online. I did do a few posts from what I did on facebook the last few months….they have been post dated to when I originally wrote them.

Looks like some of my plugins no longer work, many are outdated and haven’t been updated in years. Didn’t dawn on me that I’ve had my blog that long.

Like one of them is no longer updating my tweets into a daily blog post. But it may be that is good thing. My blog just became a bunch of tweet blogs over the years…..so I found a plugin that works, that updates a side bar with my tweets/retweets.

It feels good to have it back up…..I miss my getting my thoughts out on my blog….it may be public, but it is like a diary of venting.

It has been a rough few weeks in general.

My work…..I just don’t know what I’m suppose to be doing in this transition. It got to the point that I emailed my district manager and asked him. Then I told him that was the information that the market install teams have been needing and that the lack of communication has been horrible on moral and we don’t feel appreciated.
I’m trying to pull myself out of installs. Because how am I going to learn my new position and be able to do it my new position if I can’t get out of my old position?

But then they don’t know what they are doing with me.

At first we were going to have me a partial department manager of millworks, then being a floating specialty manager. Then I was going to be a full time millworks supervisory. Then our exterior sales specialist talked my SASM and SM into having it where I’m doing 20hrs a week working with him, doing presale stuff. Then my SASM’s conference call talked about keeping an install coordinator position. Doing what I’m doing now, managing the specialists on making sure that things are ordered/pulled, arranging the deliveries of installs, keeping the install bays organized.

So right now, I have no idea what is going to happen to me.

To balance all the stress from work, as I run around freaking out. Both my SASM and my SM thanked me for what I do. My SASM stated that they wouldn’t be getting through it without me. That they depend on me.
So that felt good. Because I just feel like I can’t keep up and that I’m falling behind.