It has been a very stressful week.
When I just think about it, it totally stresses me out.
I have one set of managers telling me one thing and another telling me something else. And I really do NOT want to be under one ASM. Do not trust them.
I think that part of it is that over the last few years that I’ve seen the demands that have been added to the department managers without any tools to help. And I feel as that I’m being set up to fail.
If we could have afford it, I would have just stepped down to a CSA….less crap to deal with.
Then when I ask how am I going to learn my new position when they keep coming to me for my old one? I was told to “walk away’. How the hell do I walk away from something that I’ve been responsible for 5yrs now? When I actually take ownership and give a damn?
Now that is just work.
ToRn hurt his back/side muscle. There was a huge pop the Tuesday night and we thought his rib was broken.
He went to urgent care Wed…..no broken rib, may have torn the muscle. He is fine until he sneezes, coughs, blows his nose or anything that. It puts him into extreme pain.
End up with 3 days off from work and then his weekend off. Back to work, carefully Monday.
He is taking it better then me…..lol
I still can’t do any jogging on my walks….shins hurt….it is annoying as hell….feels like I’m not getting much exercise in at all. I even took last week off, well the 2 days I was going to do my walk before work. I’ve been too stressed and needed to get some sleep.
Actually, the more I think about it, the more it has to do with the fact that I do not have a gym and it stresses me out. I need the gym for what works for me.
Oh yeah sleep….what the hell is that? I’m have hot flashes left and right and they suck! One minute I’m chilled, the next I’m so hot I’m about to have a panic attack. I have my annual doctor’s exam at the end of May, so I’ll ask her about it.
Online it states that stress makes it worst…..oh yeah, like getting rid of that is going to happen. And losing weight it helps….maybe if I had a f’ing gym!
Doesn’t help that the loss of our baby girl Sakura hits me out of the blue. It seemed to happen so fast, so out of no where. I’m second guessing everything we did, even though it was the right thing. I feel so guilty as if I had let her down.
I just really miss her furry face, the way she was so possessive and demanding of ToRn.
It has always been rough as hell when we lost one of our babies, but hers is really hurting more.
This weekend, I’m just trying to chill out and fight the urge to hide and fight this depression that wants to take over.