Monthly Archives: July 2009

Pauline’s Daily Happenings

  • I have to walk into town, but don’t want to leave while Open Range is on, even though we have it on dvd & it is on my ipod….screwy #
  • Got a few more errands done preparing for the trip, going to get hubby’s shirts iron, I unburied our garment bag. #
  • So not use to having to pack so careful on clothes, trying to keep it wrinkle & cat fur free (that is impossible). #
  • Once I’m done with the clothes, then on to company work….just try to get a few things done, so less waiting for me when we get home. #
  • I got hubby’s shirts ironed, been a long time since I’ve done that. Keep trying to make sure that I’m getting everything done. #
  • I got flowers ordered for the viewing from us & some from my folks that they asked me to do. The florist up there is getting hit hard. #
  • Since a few of D’s friend’s found them & we emailed everyone with the florist info. They probably haven’t seen anything like this. #
  • And this is from a former Regan staffer, now if the rest of the GOP would take note : http://tinyurl.com/2tulxh #
  • I hope this Senator keeps her backbone & do this : http://tinyurl.com/majh3a #
  • Can’t you tell that by posting here I’m trying to avoid over thinking everything? Avoidance does help on an occasion. #
  • This does not surprise me, very sadly : http://tinyurl.com/l9fkhv #
  • Boy, the GOP just wants to known as racists : http://tinyurl.com/ks525l #
  • Time to pack up my laptop & get my ass in bed. I’ll tweet if I can. #

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Warning: Very Sad Post

I know, I know….I haven’t done an actually post in awhile. I think I have gotten too dependent on twitter. But it is addicting when you have a thought that you want to get out quickly. I am one of those that needs to do that, if I don’t I totally forget what I want to say….annoying.

So here is a warning, this entry is probably a downer….so if you don’t want to hear anymore, I wouldn’t go any further if I was you.

If you have been following my tweets, you will know that we lost Harold’s brother. They served together in the Navy almost 20yrs ago and were very close. Like my dad texted me “There is no greater loss then a brother in arms” =(

Diesel has been fighting brain cancer for over 2yrs and had 2 young boys with his wife. He had always wanted kids, so the fracked up thing is that he finally got them and now he isn’t able to see them grow up. =( He was so looking forward to taking them to where he grew up in the south and meeting the rest of his family. So they can see how different it is then living in Canada.

We have been just trying to go day by day and get ready for our trip up. There are times where it feels like it is going to hit and we choke up but work our way through it. We pretty much have been trying to distract ourselves. We are so not looking forward to the next few days…..we are going to lose it. Sometimes I can go on as if a regular day, but then it hits me and I just want to lose it….but I guess that is part of grieving. =(

There are 2 days of viewing and then the services, there are people flying from all over the world. Diesel served 20yrs in the Navy and had make a ton of friends. He always seemed to be the one link that kept everyone connected.

We got a call yesterday and Harold is going to be one of the pall bearers.

I know I so over packed. But the viewing is 4hrs and then you have the rest of the day. We had already gotten ourselves clothes for 1 viewing and the service, didn’t think of a 2nd viewing. So luckily we have lost weight and was able to fit into some of our nice clothes that we had already. Harold was easy to figure out, only really had 1 other outfit….me, I’m really not sure. I have a few different things that I can do, but will just have to try a few things on and have hubby help me with that. We’ll wear those for the 1st night. But I’m so not use to packing clothes that you try to keep wrinkle free anymore, made it even hard to pack. Good thing the hotel has an iron for touch up.

I so hope Drew doesn’t attack our plants again while we are gone. We think he did it out of boredom last time and we just missed it by a few hours. Harold was not happy….dirty was everywhere the little bugger. Still going to miss our babies. =( They really help on making us laugh when we feel so down.

On a lighter side, I’ve received 2 more compliments from people at the gym and from 2 of our friends that we just saw for the 1st time in a while. The gym ones total throw me off, one even toward me that I’m an inspiration because I keep coming in regardless of how much I already lost.

Yes, I know I’ve lost weight and I do notice, but I really didn’t think it was that noticeable where strangers would notice. Well, they are strangers in that I don’t know them. But they aren’t in that we’ve been seeing them in the gym for the last year & half. You get use to seeing the same 20-30 everyday when you go at the same time. =) But Harold did tell me that it is more noticeable then I realize.

It feels good, but totally weird. Because I still want to get rid of 8# of jiggle and tone up some more. But that is so female, never satisfied. =)

I got as much work as I can get done. I have payroll to do on the 15th, but I won’t be here for it. Everyone has been given a heads up that they will be late. I’m so not looking forward to the email and the pay requests that will be waiting for me when we get back, but that is life and I’ll just take it one thing at a time.

Well, need to get my butt to bed. 04:30 comes early…icks

Pauline’s Daily Happenings

  • After the gym (treadmill only), I’ve just been trying to get things done including a bunch of errands….my brain is so scattered. #
  • Going to be leaving here to get my nails done, lost a few tips…yuck #
  • I got my nails done & have been trying to get things done ever since. We keep trying to figure out what we need to do. #
  • I’m feeling totally stressed & tensed out, but we just changed our leave time from evening Sat to very early Sun, that helps me a lot. #
  • There are going to have 2 viewing (Sun/Mon) & the services are going to be early Tues am….people are flying all over including from Jap. #
  • Sometimes I feel like I’m doing ok, the next I just want to cry….well, I need to balance our books & get a few more things done. #

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Pauline’s Daily Happenings

  • We lost Diesel. =( May he finally be at peace. #
  • We are hanging in there, had to go & get hubby some clothes for the funeral…not use to getting anything but jeans & tshirts. #
  • We are still kind of in the shock faze. We will be gone for 3-4 days, just waiting on details of when the viewing/funeral is. #
  • I got all but our dress clothes packed, now I have to get a ton of work done by Sat, get my nails done & finish getting everything else done #
  • This is a very interesting interview with Justice Ginsburg, 1 of my favorite justices : http://tinyurl.com/l5anly #

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My Brother died of Cancer today…

LiveStrong

Diesel died at 12:15 am 07/09/2009.

We went to bed somewhat late, and both pretty much passed out when the phone rang at 12:39 am. It took a few seconds to realize it was my phone and it was going off since we was both in “la la land” at the time, so when I picked it up I saw the area code 778 and for whatever reason I thought “New York” and I don’t know anyone from that number, so fuck’em…. and went back to sleep.

When I got up at 8am and saw my voice mail I saw “British Columbia” (which is what I hate about the iPhone, it doesn’t say where the call is coming from, just the # that is calling if they are not on my list) and the only area code I knew from BC is 604, so the second I saw someone from BC called me I knew.

It was Diesel’s wife Liza and she she he died in his sleep. I called her and we talk for s few minutes and she told me we was the first people she called, so yeah, I totally feel like a piece of shit for not answering.

Still not sure when the viewing and funeral etc will be, but friends/family are starting to fly in from Japan this weekend as well as from all over the US and Canada, so we will be going up to Canada Sunday night and odds are we will be there for 3-4 days.

Right now I am waiting on the wife to shower so we can go find me something to wear, which if you know me, you know how I *HATE* shopping for clothes, so this will be fun, just love the idea of spending $ on something I don’t want and wont wear more than once.

I am still in shock somewhat, I am at peace right now knowing he is at peace, but the second I think of his boys, ages 7 and 5…

Fuck Off Cancer.

I miss my Brother.