Daily Archives: Sunday April 19th, 2009

I don’t know what else to do.

Harold has called the shelter in case someone brings her in.  We have put up & handed out flyers.  I have spoke to nearly everyone I have encountered and showed them her picture.  She has a purple collar (break away), tags with her name, address, phone number, country license, and her chip number.

We have both walked the neighborhood.  I’ve done about 12miles, 9 of it yesterday and the rest 1st things this morning.  I’ve gone about 7 blocks away, don’t know if I went far enough….spending a lot of time in the immediate area because that would mean less streets for her to cross.

I just about camped out on the back deck hoping she would show up, spent the night by the patio door and jumping at every “cat” noise I heard and taking more walks shaking their cat treats that they come running to.  I keep hoping that with all the birds that come to our back yard feeders that she will return just for that.

I dreamt that the she came home all dirty and that thought it was so real that I woke with my heart racing and hoping.

I had never seen a cat run as fast as she did when she got out….she was a blur and it scared me.  What worries me is that she doesn’t have that much “fear” in her and she is so quiet. She rarely meows and when she does you do a double take because it is so quiet you don’t know if it came from her.  She doesn’t really like to come when you call her…it has to be on her own terms.

I have friends offering words of comfort, stating that they have know cats to get out and will turn up days, weeks even months later and not to give up hope.  I know that is true and with the neighborhood full of outdoor cats, that it can happen.  But I don’t I know how well I can handle that.

I’ve never had a cat get out on me like that and then lose them.  =(   The only time one of our cats got out is when we had a roommate and he came home late at night and didn’t notice Aurora get out.

We got lucky there, because when I discovered that she was gone, I went calling for her in the neighborhood.  And a few days a later a neighbor 5 doors down came to us.  We guess what had happened is that when he was bringing in groceries she sneak in since he left his door open since he didn’t have animals.  Plus these were house depluxes and all looked a like, so she thought she was coming home.  She got into a corner space under the kitchen cabinets and he hadn’t seen her, just heard her.  Thought that it was a racoon.  So he called animal control and they had set up a no-kill trap…with no luck.   Once he heard about us missing her, he came down.  I knew it was her, as soon as I called her name when I went in and she meowed at me right away.

We got so, so lucky and I’m so hoping that we get that again.  Because I don’t know what I will do if we don’t.  =(

I keep thinking that I hear Sukura out there…..I know that is wishful thinking..but there is so much noise from the traffic that I’m not sure. And she is so quiet other then her collar.

It is late, but I just did a walk around the neighborhood, just hoping.

There are too many neighborhood cats….everytime I think I see her it is isn’t.

The what if’s and hoping to see her keep running through my head.  She has never been outside.

I totally frakked up on handling her getting out.  =(  I was trying to get Harold at the same time of keeping her in sight….I keep replaying over in my head what I should’ve done differently.

I totally stressed & freaked out by this.

And with her getting out…I totally hurt my husband.  She is his baby, they have that special connection…..and the fact that she isn’t here for him, hurts me more then anything.

I just want to wake up and find that this was a bad dream.