For those who have been reading my blog, you know that 13yr old, Reggie Miller, had an inoperable nasal tumor. He was diagnosed over a year ago. He started losing weight about a month ago, but he was still his ornery self, begging for food, demanding attention…..still chasing the laser beam 5 days ago. But the last 2 days, when he tried to eat solids he threw it up. After he did that yesterday, Harold stated that it was time….we lost it.
I really hate these kind of decisions. He wasn’t out of it, his attitude was normal….was it too soon? Am I selfish for wanting him to live longer? To continue cuddling with me in bed at night? Sometimes I wish that when it is time, our babies just go to sleep and not wake up at home, so we don’t have to make that decision.
But when Reggie didn’t even come downstairs to beg when I was having dinner, it confirmed that it was time. Reggie use to just sit there and stare at me when I was eating, he knew I was easier then Harold….grin In fact, he would take scraps more from me not him, just because I’m the one who gave him treats from my plate so he was use to it. He was use to getting food from Harold in the kitchen….he would be right there meowing at him when he heard that Harold was in there.
This really sucks. It is going a long while before I won’t be crying every time I turn around when I think about him. I try to be “logical” about it, less cat litter messes, less cat hair, less scratches in the furniture, less furballs….but it doesn’t work. I still miss him as if none of those annoyances ever existed. =(
It is going to be hard tonight. When we had a queen size bed, Reggie use to sleep between my feet. Since we got the king, he has been laying next to me.  He may be next to Harold when I come in, but once I’m in bed he aims for me.  I think it is because even in my sleep I’m “conscious” of our cats and careful of my movements. Even when Drew would get next to me first, Reggie didn’t let it stop him from claiming his spot, even it meant putting his tail in Drew’s face. But Drew didn’t care….you can move him anywhere and he is fine…lol
I really miss him. 
sad