**Sandi had this on her myspace blog yesterday :]
Current mood: 
refreshed
 Wednseday once Zack was taken out of the ICU and placed in a regular room a new fear took over. I was thankful to be out of the ICU but began realizing that he was acting strangely…Guess the best way to describe it was that he was acting mentally retarded. His speach was all off and very hard to understand. We asked if it could be a permanent side effect but they didn’t have any answers for us. So we paced and worried some more. Of course I’ve ‘rested’ at the hospital when I could not wanting to be away for too long. Ed had even sent me home to sleep but I was so restless I just showered and went right back up to the hospital. Yesterday Zack was doing better and definately coming back to being hiself-and we’d hoped he’d be able to come home but his back still hurts from the spinal tap and in the afternnon he’d develpoed another headache so the Dr. wanted to keep him again especially when we noticed he was trying to prevent another neck spasm by rotating his head to be in control of it. He’s done a lot of sleeping…poor kids body has been through a lot though. Dr’s diagnosed him with confusional migraine- I did some research on it but because it’s so rare I got very little information on it but instead read some personal stories that really concerned me because it contridicted a lot of what the DR had told us…for example- we were told that it most likely won’t happen again but the stories I’ve read people had gone on to have multiple episodes. We were told it’s a child thing but some of the stories came from 16-24 years olds dealing with it as well. From all the stories I read it takes a few days to recoup from the episode itself but on top of that Zack has to recoup from all of the trama of the hospital doings as well. I’ve got mixed feelings- some of the stuff that I’ve read nobody had had the extremeness of what Zack seemed to have experienced- I didn’t read about anyone else being put on a breathing machine or some of the other things he’d gone through. So I feel as if we’ve got this diagnoses but still don’t really know what had happened- what is happening or what could happen in the future. It is very frustrating especially for Zack who has begun to ask questions and wants to know what is happening to him too- he knows that something happened. He remembered me telling “fight baby, you’ve got to fight” in the ICU and he told me “Mommy I fought for you.” I’m so very thankful for everyone’s prayers and your thoughts being with us that words can’t even begin to appreciate all of you being there for us in your own ways. Thank You so very much!! When Ed came up last night he kicked me out for the night- but he seen that I got a pass to come back in -JUST IN CASE. My Neice came up from Indiana to help with the other kids so Ed called her to make sure that I was home and that I stayed home last night. I slept- in the beginning I was still just resting being aware of what was going on around me but when I did finally begin to really fall asleep I’d jump up confused of where I was looking for Zack’s bed. At one point I almost just got up and went back to the hospital- yelling inside my own head that I should’ve just stayed up there but then having this discussion with myself in my head of how I need to go back to sleep and at least try to sleep. At some point I did finally drift back off for a little while. Some of you have grown concerned about me knowing that when stressed I don’t eat- I’m doing what I HAVE to even if it’s eating a few crackers once I’ve gotten to the point of being light headed. But food isn’t setting real well in my stomach these past few days no matter what I eat- I am trying though. Once I get Zack home I’ll do better…I promise. But right now it’s not about me- it’s about Zack and I’m doing what I need to for him. I wouldn’t intentionally put myself in danger when not just Zack but all of my kids still need me around to pester and be a fun-sucking mom. 
 I have no intentions of going anywhere anytime soon! Ok- well I’m goin to get a shower and get back up to the hospital to see what’s going on today- Hoping to bring my baby home! I’ll keep you all posted.