Monthly Archives: July 2006

Another Day

Today was ok at work. I always feel as if I’m walking on egg shells.

All I want to do is go in and do my job and go home. I like my job, just not some of the issues that have been coming up & it is taking it’s toll. Where I no longer want to do anything related to work on my own time. I use to bring things home to work on, well I quite doing that at the beginning of May when I felt my caring wasn’t appreciated. And then when family came down, I just didn’t have the time.

We don’t have kids by choice, but when I get my mothering instinct going I’ve always taken it out at work, on my job and the folks I work with after I’ve driven Harold nuts with my pestering. But my uneasiness at work has forced me take stock of my priorities in my life at this conjunction. I have way too much that I need to do at home. I have letters to write to my family, I have work that I need to do with Harold, & there are things that I’m debating on learning so I can help. Not sure if it would be something that I would like to do. But even if I don’t do that, there is so much I would like to learn with some reading. I have a bunch of books waiting to be read and some political mags I would like to start getting, if I had time to read. It takes me about a week and half just to read my one Time mag.

I care about my job when I’m there, I have no problem staying late or coming in early, but on my own time, I want nothing to do with it any more. I have things outside of my job that are a hell lot more important in my life then this job that is for sure. The stress and aggravation isn’t worth it.

So now I just go in, do my thing and get out as soon as I can.  Right I have until next Thursday for my next day off.
Right now we are watching “Broken Trail” it was on a few months ago and we are finally watching it. I love Robert Duvall’s westerns. But one of my favorite movies of his isn’t a western, it is “Secondhand Lions”. I guess I just love character actors.

Almost Caught Up

I finally got all my emails & PMs caught up. Thankfully. It helped that the weather wasn’t cooperating, neither yesterday nor today. =( I wanted to spend it part of it getting some sun, swimming in between working while set up on the patio. But no, it got overcastted and storm clouds.

We did get some swimming in the morning today. It was sunny and hot @ 10am so if the clouds hadn’t moved in it would’ve been much hotter out then it is right now.

I did treat myself to getting a facial at the spa and getting my nails done yesterday. =)

Overall I’ve been doing ok.

Sometimes I’m fine and then the mood swing……depression or anger. I see my mother in me…..icks! But I so want to stick with natural things. It is bad enough that I have to take sinus meds to breathe some days.

Who knows……..I still need to get time to find a new doctor, but I so don’t want to go through that process. I have a problem with having a doctor that smokes and doesn’t know what lock jaw is?

Well, since it is overcast I better start on the receipts. If I get those done, then I can start on redesigning my blog with a clear conscious. =)

’nuff said….

http://www.peacetakescourage.com/declaration.html

http://www.peacetakescourage.com/wwjd.html

Current Mood: contemplative

I Miss Monica

 Make sure you have the sound on.

http://deanfriedman.cf.huffingtonpost.com/

 

Current Mood: contemplative

From My Indiana Trip

**This was started the July 9th.

I’m here in Indiana……..the state for fun…..not….lol  The only thing I miss here is my family and I am enjoying that.

The kids enjoyed their first plane ride and did good until they started getting antsy at the end, but that is normal.  I was proud of them.

My mom picked us up and we went to see Melinda.  She hasn’t seen her kids for 7 weeks, I haven’t seen her in about a year and it was her 30th.

To get to the prison we have to drive through one of the state parks.  Boy, do I miss the vegetation in the northern states.  The stuff in Florida is so rough and looks half dead; it is just not green enough.  I miss all the actual shade trees, the soft grass, the lush greenness, the coolness.  I told Harold that I can’t wait for us to move to Washington so I can have it again with my mountains.  Yes, I know it rains there a lot.  =)

It was nice to see my sister.  Being in prison has made her a reader, which is something you couldn’t pay her to do.  She says she is afraid of screwing up again.  We’ll see.

It didn’t take long for the kids to start running all over the yard, getting their bikes out and all the normal things that kids do when they get home.  They tore up their rooms, went through the kitchen………..they were back in their element and it showed.

Found out something interesting about Charles being picked on at school.  He was a bully the year before.  He had gotten in so much trouble that he stopped, but he did it to the point that he doesn’t stand up for himself and the teachers don’t believe him.  So just like all former bullies, the kids are doing pay back.  He needs to find a balance.  I knew it didn’t sound right about them picking on him….didn’t make sense.  He is bigger then the majority of the kids.  But with that little tit-bit it all makes sense.  Even though he was the bully he did let his sister get away with picking on him.

Charles is very good at coloring with detail. Dad thinks that he may have some artistic ability and that is why he is so sensitive.

I spent Sunday just chilling out and spending time with family.  I grew up with family being the most important thing.  That you are always there for them and they are for you. I grew up not only hearing that but seeing the examples of sacrifice that has been done in my family.

My great-grandmother Schinkel on was a horrible in-law to my grandma, but my grandma was the main care taker of her and saw her more then her own son before she died.  She did it cuz she was family and you took care of them.

My mom and dad decided that my father would retire from the Army and move to Indiana to take care of my grandfathers. If it wasn’t for the fact that both my grandfathers had strokes and needed help, my father would’ve taken the promotion and did another tour in Alaska and that is where we wanted to retire to.  My grandpa Curtis had lots of family to help out; on my grandma & grandpa Schinkel needed help and almost lost everything.  So they lived with us.

A few years later, after my grandfathers died, my uncle came to live with us since he was dieing.  So my mom took care of her brother-in-law.  That is what you do with family.  You take care of them.  You give up some of things you’d rather do and help.  There is no resentment from my folks about it; they did it out of love and what you do for family.  It was part of life and you go on.

Well, I had the sex talk with Heather (with Cheyanne there).  My mom, a neighbor friend and her 13 yr old grand daughter was there.  It was interesting and I don’t know how much is going to stick, be we got a start.  I had gotten her a couple of books this summer to lead up to it.  One was “The Keeping and Care of You”, an American Girls book and “My Period Book”.  So I had start taking about the changes she was going to start on going through.  For this about of the talk I got “Lets Talk About Sex” from Planned Parenthood.  I think what really helped was that it had pictures so it made it much easier to explain.

I got a lot laughter when after I gave the actually names of the body parts, I then gave what most people call it……talked about caring for someone, saying no and doing what feels right for them, not some boy, condoms, safety, babies, mentioned that not all boys likes girls and not all girls like boys, masbastion and the crap that they will told at church about some it.

Of course, we had to tell the girls that they can’t just go about talking about it at school.  They can bring up questions when they get to sex ed, they can call me or they can talk to their grandmother (who was never a blushing violet about frank discussion, which was both good and embarrassing with her timing……lol)

I’m on the plane heading back to Orlando.  I have a post about Indy security……..damn Gestapo.  I know I’m putting it in my blog, but not sure what else.  Debating on rewriting and sending it to my representatives, homeland security, FAA, the president………just to get my bitch out.  I haven’t decided.

When I get to airport, I’ll be waiting for Harold’s plane to land.  So I may work on some email while waiting.  =)

**Added July 18th.

I’m happy to have my life back, but I miss them.  I got use to them calling my name all the time and them eager to tell me what was going on or what they learned.  I think what I miss is the love that they give with the hugs.  In my family, as kids, you can give and get a lot of hugs as much as you want.  So you always know that you are loved.