Holiday Funk

It has been a long & tiring day at work today. We never got to the project that we have been working on for the last few days and really need to get done. Our Regional & DM came by, it wasn’t the most productive of visits. They didn’t seem to be in the best of moods.

I’ve also been in funk lately. It was triggered by hormones at first, which as time goes on I see bits of my mother in me……and that is not good cuz that came my my grandpa and he had a rotten temper.

The good thing is that unlike mom that I recognize it & right now I’m trying to use vitamins to help and they do when I remember to take them regularly (which I hate….it is about 6 different pills) and when my hormones don’t come on too strong. I’m always trying to find something that helps naturally…..cuz I really don’t want to end up on chemicals with bad side effects.

Right now my hormones are calm but I’m still in a funk. I think it partly cuz I’m missing my family for the holidays and it doesn’t help that it really doesn’t feel like christmas…..too warm, no snow….no cuddling in front of the fireplace….heck, I can’t even find the oraments that I like so far.

I decorate our tree primarily in burgandy bulbs, accented with white, gold & clear bulbs along with oraments I’ve had since I was a kid. I broke one them the other day so I wanted to see about getting a few more since it has been a few years & was thinking of adding purples. I go to same stores that I went to Indiana and all they had was PLAIN bulbs. All my main bulbs have glitter decorations and they were common to find up north and they match my german tree topper. In fact it was hard every year not to buy more cuz they were so pretty.

I never realized how german my decorations were or how common that they were up there. When I think about it, it makes sense. Germans & Polish had high rates of settling in Indiana. So IF I get time from work, I would like to see if I can find any german oraments…..cuz those plain ones suck.

It doesn’t help that this time of year was special at my old place of work. Dad & Harold just see it as another job & don’t understand how special it was for me. It was my home away from home, I loved my regular customers, my crew…..I had everything set up just the way I wanted….it was my domin and I was in charge of everything….. When I wrap things the memories flood back since working at Fannie May Candies is where I learned how to wrap.

I’ve been trying to play a cd of the music that I grew up on (it never feels like christmas with out it) and I end up remembering how mom would put that old album on as loud as we could and just enjoy it as she put up decorations.

Enough of my ramblings for now…….I need to chill.

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